Understanding
the Differences in People
5 Steps to Building the Christian Education Team
Zig Ziglar, in his book Top Performance, said, "Fifteen percent
of the reason you get a job, keep a job, and move ahead in that job,
is determined by your technical skills and knowledge...regardless of
your profession. The other 85 percent has to do with your people
skills and people knowledge."
A leader is only as effective as his ability to work with people, and
every leader has experienced the frustration of trying to work with
a person who is difficult to understand, motivate, or relate to. We
seem unable to find an approach that will work with him or her although
that approach works well with others.
A study of 100 self-made millionaires reveals the common denominator
among them was the characteristic of seeing only good in people. They
were people builders.
A good leader believes in and builds people. Understanding people plays
an essential role in our ability to build people. On the team are people
with different strengths, limitations, motivations, needs, and values.
The challenge of leadership is to understand yourself and others and
learn to work with differences in people on the team.
This month and next we will consider five steps to helping you build
an effective team. To begin, we will look at the four basic behavioral
styles. Next month, we will learn how to work with the different types
of persons we find in our churches on our Christian education team.
STEP 1: Understand and Identity Behavioral Styles
You can recognize your own behavioral style and those of people you
work with through observation. The DiSC• model of behavior is a
great tool to help us. It identifies four different styles in people:
Dominance style, Influencing style, Steadiness
style, and Conscientious style. The D and I styles
tend to be fast-paced, outgoing, competitive, and risk takers. The
C and S styles tend to be slower-paced, cooperative, reserved,
and risks avoiders.
The D and the C tend to be task-oriented, cautious in their
relationships, cool, controlling, and calculating. The I and
S tend to be people-oriented, relaxed, warm, supporting, and feeling.
In response to conflict, the D and I tend to vent their
frustration while the S and C tend to suppress theirs. The
D demands and becomes overly assertive, autocratic, unbending, and
attempts to impose his thoughts and feelings on others. The I verbally,
emotionally, and explosively attacks others and their ideas. He condemns
and puts down others, and tells exactly how he feels. The S complies.
To keep peace he gives in and appears to agree. He tolerates people
and situations even if he disagrees. He wants to save relationship even
if he is hurt. The C avoids conflict. He is less assertive and more
controlled. He keeps his thoughts and ideas to himself, withdraws from
people and/or undesirable situations, and plans his next move.
In shopping the D is impulsive. The I knows exactly where
everything is in the store. The S brings a list and shops very efficiently.
The C brings his coupons and calculator.
On the golf course the D could run over you with his cart and
often plays through other groups of golfers. The I would rather
talk and may not even get out of the clubhouse. The S routinely
golfs on the same day at the same time, using the same clubs. The C
keeps score and make sure that everybody plays by the rules. He probably
cleans his clubs a lot.
Concerning spiritual commitment, the high D usually must have
a traumatic event or crisis to help him recognize and acknowledge his
need for a commitment to Christ. The high I finds it easy to
express his/her faith verbally and to make a public commitment to Christ.
He looks forward to sharing his faith and experience with others. The
high S often makes a commitment quietly, but will be loyal in relationship
and service. The high C experiences intense internal struggles about
his relationship with God. He fears he is not doing everything right
and that God is often displeased with him. He finds it difficult to
separate performance from God's grace. (Ken R. Voges and Ron L. Braund,
Understanding How Others Misunderstand You. Moody Press, 1990. The set
of book and workbook can be purchased separately.)
The DiSC• model attempts to explain each behavioral style's strengths,
optimal work environment, and limitations. It describes whom each one
needs to complement limitations and what each can do to be more effective.
STEP 2: Understand Others' Needs
Each behavior style has its particular needs. A different approach
is required to relate to, persuade, lead, and disagree with each one.
- To relate to a D, be direct. Give him the bottom fine followed
by essential details. Get to the point and challenge him.
- To relate to an I, be enthusiastic. Be friendly and positive.
Praise him and let him know he's important.
- To relate to the S, be warm and relational. Be relaxed and
low-key. Don't get pushy with the objectives. Allow him time to respond
at his own pace.
- To relate to the C, be logical and analytical . Give clear,
accurate, detailed facts. Don't rush him in making a decision.
- To persuade a D, answer his what questions. He needs to know
what you are trying to do, the expected results, and the value or
benefits of this idea.
- To persuade an I, answer his who questions. He needs to know
who has done it before and who is going to be involved.
- To persuade an S, answer his why questions. He needs to know
why you are trying to change things. Take time to think it through
with him and assure him everything will be all right.
- To persuade a C, answer his how questions. He needs to know
how this can be done and done right. He needs to know the step-by-step
plan and what he is expected to do.
- To lead a D, tell him the goal and give him freedom to determine
how to do it. Don't over control. Allow him to be in charge of something.
- To lead an I, allow him to dream with you about plans, projects,
and people. Give him recognition and allow him to have fun.
- To lead an S, allow him to be part of the group. Because
he values relationship, he wants to do things together in a peaceful
environment.
- To lead a C, work closely with him. Allow him time to do
things right, and do your best to do things the best way.
- To disagree with a D, find the goal you can agree on. Help
him think of alternative methods to achieve that goal and allow him
to test his ideas.
- To disagree with an I, agree with vision and give him time.
Because he gets excited about many things, he may resolve the issue
and move on to another idea.
- To disagree with an S, take time to assure him that relationship
is not in jeopardy. He wants peace and needs to be convinced that
disagreement won't threaten that.
- To disagree with a C, give him facts and details. He won't
be moved with emotional appeals and forcefulness.
STEP 3: Respect and Value Other Styles
We tend to view others in light of their weaknesses or limitations
rather than their strengths, especially if their behavioral style differs
from ours. We tend to view ourselves in terms of our strengths instead
of our weaknesses.
The D often views himself as independent, controlled, efficient,
and tenacious. He sees another D as domineering, pushy, harsh,
insensitive, and tough; the I as manipulative, egotistical, overbearing,
excitable, and talkative. To him, the S is slow, weak, awkward, dependent,
and conforming; the C is picky, critical, indecisive, stuffy,
and moralistic.
The I sees himself as personable, exciting, outgoing, stimulating,
and dramatic. He views another I as manipulative, egotistical,
overbearing, excitable, and talkative. He sees the D as domineering,
pushy, harsh, insensitive, and tough; the S as slow, weak, awkward,
dependent, and conforming. To him, the C is picky, critical, indecisive,
stuffy, and moralistic.
The S often views himself as peacemaking, dependable, supportive, reliable,
and willing. He views another S as slow, weak, awkward, and dependent.
To him, the D is domineering, pushy, harsh, insensitive, and
tough; the I is manipulative, egotistical, overbearing, excitable,
and talkative. He sees the C as picky, critical, indecisive,
stuffy, and moralistic.
The C often considers himself to be serious, organized, thorough, industrious,
and persistent. He views another C as picky, critical, indecisive,
stuffy, and moralistic. He views the D as domineering, pushy,
harsh, insensitive and tough; the I as manipulative, egotistical,
overbearing, excitable, and talkative. He sees the S as slow, weak,
awkward, dependent, and conforming.
To respect and value another person's style, we must view him in terms
of his strengths instead of his weaknesses. Second, we must recognize
and promote those strengths. Third, we must complement his weaknesses
with our strengths instead of being critical and negative.
STEP 4: Recognize Tension Areas
Wherever there are people there will be issues that create tension.
Recognizing potential tension areas can help avoid unnecessary conflict.
We create tension for others by things we do and don't do. When tension
occurs we want others to change, but we don't want to change ourselves.
The D style can create tension for another D by trying
to over control the situation and taking away his freedom to control
his own situation. Tension with the I can come when the D's concern
for results is not accompanied by concern for an enjoyable and motivational
environment. Tension with the S is created by not taking enough
time to listen and by placing more value on time and results than relationships.
Tension with the C comes from lack of attention to details and the D's
high risk orientation.
The I can create tension for a D with his lack of focus
on results, by talking too much, and by being too emotional and dramatic.
I's desire for recognition and visibility can reduce another l's visibility
and recognition, creating tension. Tension with an S can occur when
the I demonstrates a lack of depth in relationship and by his
faster pace. Impulsiveness and not attending to details can cause tension
with the C.
The S can create tension for a D by being indecisive
and reluctant to change. Tension with the I comes from being
slow-paced and lacking enthusiasm. Tension with another S can come from
lack of initiative. Tension with the C can come from people-orientation
rather than a logical, analytical approach to tasks.
The C can create tension for the D because of his slower, methodical
pace and fear of taking risks. Tension with the I can come from his
attention to detail and lack of spontaneity. Tension with the S can
result from not sharing feelings with him. Tension with another
C can come from trying to be more accurate than the other.
STEP 5: Adapt Your Style
Any effective team requires adaptability and versatility among its
members. This doesn't mean we try to become something we are not. It
simply means we learn to enhance our weaknesses so we don't create undue
tension in the team. Adapting our style helps us to realize that we
need each other and must work together to become productive, effective
teams.
To increase effectiveness the high D can:
- Listen more.
- Focus more on people.
- Become more flexible.
- Become more supportive.
- Be patient.
- Be warmer and more open.
- Be less controlling.
- Explain why.
To increase effectiveness the high I can:
- Slow down.
- Control emotions.
- Listen more.
- Follow through.
- Focus on details/facts.
- Focus on results.
- Be less impulsive.
- Evaluate activities.
To increase effectiveness the high S can:
- Become more decisive.
- Initiate more.
- Increase pace.
- Learn to say no.
- Be less sensitive.
- Be more task focused.
- Face confrontation.
- Be more direct.
To increase effectiveness the high C can:
- Be more optimistic.
- Trust intuition.
- Respond quicker.
- Be more flexible.
- Be more open.
- Take more risks.
- Be less fact-oriented.
- Be less of a perfectionist.
- Develop relationships.
True leaders build people----not programs. You can build people and
develop a more effective team by taking these five steps today.
(Adapted from Sharpening People Skills Seminar; Walk Thru the
Bible.)
For more information on the DiSC• Personal Profile System or
seminars on "Sharpening Your People Skills," "Team Building," or "Personal
Leadership Development" contact Steve
Mills.
